i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
