im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
