marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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