just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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