i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Houston, we have a squirter
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Text me some of your sweat
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
