never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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