You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
