I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
