she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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