and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
