Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
