I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
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You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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