Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I had to cum in my sink.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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