Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
