it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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