She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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