Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize