The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize