hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
