were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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