C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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