she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
