Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
