my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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