I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
