Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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