At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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