I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
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Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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