I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He kissed a someone with a penis
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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