yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
