if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we're making bets on your personal life
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
