guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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