these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
