sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
