if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
