Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We need a shit load of segways right now
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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