Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
