Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
