ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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