You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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