I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
