after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
