Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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