gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
