Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize