And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
