He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
