I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
