how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize