You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
