i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
