I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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