Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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