Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
