What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
