i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget