Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
barbara walters just said penis...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My cat gives me a boner
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'