Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.