i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Randomize
