apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize