Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
