Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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