Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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