bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
