Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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