During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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