He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
